SEXUAL BEHAVIORS

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ORAL SEX  Oral sex or oral-genital sex means both mouth contact with the vagina, which is called cunnilingus, and mouth contact with the penis, which is called fellatio. Cunnilingus comes from a Latin word for vulva (a woman's exterior sex organs), cunnus, and from the Latin word for licking, lingere. Fellatio comes from the Latin word fellare, meaning to suck. There are many different kinds of oral sex techniques, and you've probably even picked up a set of oral sex tips or your own oral sex techniques along the way. Some of the more common oral sex tips involve both partners performing oral sex techniques at the same time. Either form of oral sex can be done with one partner stimulating the other individually, or both partners can stimulate each other's genitals simultaneously. Oral sex given simultaneously is commonly called 69, or, the French translation, soixante-neuf. This is because the body position of a couple having mutual oral sex resembles the numeral 69.Oral Sex Is a Common Sexual Behavior
Cunnilingus and fellatio are common sexual behaviors for both same sex couples and couples of different sexes. There are various combinations of positions and techniques used in oral sex, but it is the mouth and tongue that provide the pleasure in all cases.Kissing, licking, sucking and nibbling can feel good anywhere on the genitals of both men and women. The pressure (light, firm, and in between), speed (fast, slow, or changing), and the type of motion used can be varied endlessly to produce different sensations. In both practices, the warm, moist feeling of the mouth and the tongue on the genitals can be very erotic. Some enjoy a teasing, stop-start approach, while others prefer a more steady type of stimulation.The Snaky-Lick Trick
In one fellatio technique, known as the Snaky-Lick Trick, the "trick" is to tease the underside of the penis head almost imperceptibly with the very tip of the tongue, just making ever so slight tongue contact with this sensitive area in one light upward lick, and then backing off for about fifteen seconds between each lick. This trick has been said to result in a powerful ejaculation in a very short time.Other methods of fellatio include sucking the glans or shaft of the penis by engulfing it in the mouth, licking at various parts of the penis and scrotum, or nibbling anywhere along the genitals. Many men enjoy having the scrotum lightly stroked during fellatio and the area just beneath the scrotum is often quite sensitive to touch or oral massage.Some people are uncomfortable performing fellatio because they have a sensation of gagging when they take the erect penis into their mouth. This real physiological event, known as the gag reflex, is triggered by pressure at the back of the tongue or in the throat. If a man, in his excited state, pushes his penis too far into his partner's mouth, the gag reflex may take over. One way to avoid this problem is for the person giving the oral sex to grasp the penis along the shaft to control how much of it enters the mouth. Another common objection to fellatio is having the man ejaculate in his partner's mouth. A couple can agree in advance to have the man remove his penis from his partner's mouth before ejaculation. Others don't mind. They either rinse the ejaculate from their mouth right away or they swallow it. The ejaculate, on average about 4 cc, consists of proteins and sugars and reportedly contains less than 36 calories.Cunnilingus, like fellatio, can be performed in many ways. Women's preferences vary, but commonly enjoyed techniques include gentle tongue movements over the clitoris, more rapid, focused licking, or sucking the clitoris either gently or in a rougher fashion.Other forms that women enjoy are oral stimulation of the clitoris combined with fingering of the vagina; licking and kissing of the lips just outside the vagina; having the tongue thrust in and out of the vaginal opening; and having the clitoris stimulated by hand (her own or her partner's) while oral stimulation is directed at other parts of the genitals.Reservations About Oral Sex
Not everyone has or enjoys oral sex. Many people who try it enjoy oral sex, but others have reservations about it. These reservations tend to fall into three arenas: first, that oral sex is unhygienic; second, that there is a taboo against it; third, that it is not a true expression of femininity or masculinity.With regard to hygiene, neither vaginal fluid nor semen is harmful in any way. This of course is true only in persons who are not infected with a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Everyone should be sure that they themselves and their partners are free from STDs before engaging in any sexual activity.No disease can be passed by oral sex that wouldn't be transmitted by any other kind of sex. If one partner has a STD the other is likely to catch it whatever they do together sexually.Oral Sex: Safe and Clean
In short, oral sex between healthy people is safe and clean. Another hygiene aspect that concerns some people is genital odor. Simply washing the genitals is sufficient to prepare you for any sex, including oral sex. It is not necessary for women to douche before having oral sex, but some women choose to do so. However, douching can wash away the helpful bacteria that naturally protect the vagina. In addition to a man's natural genital odors, the genitals often take on the smells of recently eaten foods. As with women, thorough washing can reduce this odor, and besides, many people find some degree of genital odor in their partner stimulating.Oral Sex: A Taboo?
The notion that oral sex is taboo discourages some people from ever trying it. Oral sex has long been frowned upon and often deemed illegal. The basis for the social disapproval and legal restrictions lies in age-old religious prohibitions, which to some are still very powerful. People who accept and practice almost any of the major Western religions can therefore feel confused and guilty about engaging in oral sex, despite their knowledge that it is a safe and appropriate form of sexual expression.For some people, the issue is not conflict with their religious beliefs as much as it is a belief that it somehow compromises their masculinity or femininity. Some people incorrectly think that cunnilingus and fellatio are homosexual acts, even if experienced by heterosexual couples.While homosexual couples do engage in oral sex, so do a majority of heterosexual couples. The activity itself is neither homosexual nor heterosexual.Feelings Aroused by Oral Sex
Apart form the misconception about oral sex and homosexuality, women sometimes feel that performing oral sex can make them feel submissive, as if they are giving a service and are thereby inferior.Men sometimes feel that performing oral sex on their partner reduces their masculinity because their penis is not involved. Couples should openly discuss these issues, and if necessary seek the help of a qualified therapist. Oral sex, just like any other sexual behavior, is a matter of personal preference.50 women share the joy of anal sex: 1. Gets Me OffI enjoy anal sex to a large degree. The first time I did it was to please my boyfriend but I ended up enjoying it myself. I personally like to be held face down and have it forced on me. It’s very erotic and I really get off on it. - Debby, US 2. Wish I’d Known SoonerI just had anal sex and it was the greatest feeling in my life. Yes, at first it hurt a little. However, it was well worth it. If I would have known it felt like that I would have done it years ago. - Anonymous, Vancouver, BC 3. Happy Bunny Anal, I love it. It has to be my favorite sex act. We usually do it 3-4 times weekly. My preference is to finger my cunt a little and let my cum trickle down between my ass crack, and then I’m ready for some deep ass pounding. As long as it’s deep and hard, I’m a happy bunny! 4. Loving BondMy husband and I have been having anal sex for about 15 years now. We both like this kinky exercise. We have the strongest orgasms then. Our naughty sex practices are a firm bond to our relationship. - BB, UK  5. I’d Never Do Without AnalAnal sex is a regular part of our sex life and I would never do without it. My preference is anal sex with me in the doggy position. No matter how he's stretched me with his fingers there's still some resistance and I admit to loving it. Once his head is in he pauses and gives me time to adjust. The feeling is exquisite and I have to keep my hand off my clit because I could cum right then. It's all so damn wicked and I love giving myself to him this way. I love the times he gets balls deep and slams away while I play with my clit, teasing myself, almost cumming. When I have to cum I let him know and tell him to cum up my ass. I rub my clit wildly while he slides in and out and explodes magnificently. I love anal sex! – Karen, US 6. Best Feeling EverOne night while he was licking my ass he asked if he could fuck it, so I said yes. He literally ran to the bathroom and grabbed the lube. After a few minutes of massaging my asshole he lubed up and slowly pushed it inside and it was one of the best sexual feelings I’ve ever experienced. I could tell he liked it even though he won't admit it, and when we do have anal sex now he makes it seem like it's just for me but he is never as hard as he is when we have anal sex and he never makes the noises he makes with anal any other time either. We both secretly know that he loves it whether he'll admit it or not. – Anonymous, US7. Mind-blowing First TimeLUBE LUBE LUBE!!! The size of my guy’s cock frightened me when we first thought about anal. But with plenty of lube, and patience, and it was a mind-blowing first time. Just relax and he will slide right in. Like they say, too much lube is almost enough. Just remember to relax, and again I stress the lube! - Anonymous, Michigan 8. Better Than VaginalSix months ago I finally got around to trying anal sex. Fantastic! The best sex in my life. My husband was not patient, but I took it all the way in. I love the feeling of him cumming in my ass - it turns me on...better than vaginal. – Mimi, Dominican Republic 9. Anal FantasiesI LOVE anal sex. It's better than vaginal once you get used to it. It gives the best orgasms ever, and guys...if you're patient, go slowly and get her really worked up first, she'll end up asking you for it. My husband and I have been having anal sex for nearly 7 years now, and I find myself having fantasies about getting fucked anally because I love it so much now. Just take your time, and she'll reward you! - Anonymous, WA 10. Harder Is BetterUse a lot of lube. Start on your side, then when it is feeling really good, start doing it in doggy style - it increases the pleasure. And the harder he pounds it the better it feels (harder is always better). It only hurts for a minute, then the pleasure is overwhelming. – Angela, Detroit 11. My Special TreatI am in a recent committed relationship with a man (much older than myself) who has taken me to new heights of sexual pleasure I could only have imagined! He has been so caring and careful in venturing into anal sex that I have literally become addicted to him fucking my ass! It is my special treat and now he often waits for me to beg for it...which I usually do, because it just drives me wild. I never in a million years thought I would enjoy getting fucked in the ass so much! - Anonymous, MD 12. I Look Forward to ItDefinitely get a butt plug - they are great for getting your asshole ready for his cock. Lube up your hole and the butt plug and either insert it yourself at your own pace or have him do it with your guidance. I used to hate anal sex before we got a butt plug. Now I look forward to it and actually ASK my husband if he wants to do me in the ass. He has never refused! A few times, we have also used a dildo up my pussy while he did my butt - and THAT is one hell of a full and sexy feeling! Try it! - Jenny, Chicago 13. Fantastic OrgasmsWhen I first had anal sex it hurt a lot and I cried a little, but it never stopped me from trying it again and I am glad that I didn’t stop. I have had the most fantastic orgasms in my life though my ass, but I have had to teach my husband to be gentle at first because the shock is too much. But after a few minutes he can be as hard and rough as he likes and I love it. - Moyia, England 14. I Ask Him for AnalI never liked the idea of anal before, but my husband always says he loves my ass and is so turned on by it. I let him tongue my anus all the time, but finally I gave in and let him do my ass. We used lots of KY and he started off with fingers, then a butt plug he bought. I have to say that once his cock was in my ass, I loved it. I told him to slap my ass and play with my clit and holy jeez - I had the best orgasm ever. Now I ask HIM when he wants to do me in the ass again, and he always says, "How about now?!" So we do it once or twice a week. - Anonymous, Illinois 15. Want to Try It AgainI tried anal sex last night. It was the first time, and we used a lot of lube. It was very uncomfortable at first, but then it got really fun. I am excited to feel what the second time is like. - Jennifer, US 16. Dirty and FunI absolutely love anal sex. Yes, it does seem a little dirty and that makes it even more fun. I am blessed with a husband who is rather large so I have to take some extra precautions for myself. There are numbing agents out there that work great, like Anal EZ with a little benzocaine in it. It even prolongs him sometimes. One time in total desperation we used our normal lube and some 20% strength Oragel. Worked wonders! - Mia, TN 17. Ready to EnjoyI love having anal sex with my boyfriend and I love when he goes inside me bareback. I always take at least two enemas prior to anal sex, and I feel very clean inside. Actually getting the enema is part of our foreplay and we both get very aroused when doing it. Then when he comes to enter me, I‘m relaxed and ready to enjoy anal sex. - Donna, Canada 18. You’ll Love the FeelingIf I'm really turned on, I will let my husband slip a finger in my ass and this really gets me going. He will then use a small vibrator just inside the anal opening. Once you feel relaxed, use lots of your favorite lube, be sure your guy is rock hard and you’re ready for his cock to penetrate you. If you take it slow and easy, you will love the way anal sex feels. - Anonymous, CA 19. She’ll Thank YouI started having anal sex with an ex-boyfriend when I was 16 and have never looked back since. Lube is essential and so is the position. I like it doggy style with a very pronounced arch in my back, but spooning is also cool. Take it easy, start slow and she'll thank you for it. She might even let you try DP. - Faith, Canada 20. Best Sex EverMy first time was with a guy I had been fooling around with for a few months and we wanted to try something new. One day while I was taking a shower he came in and we started to have sex in the shower, a few minutes into it he stopped and started to put it into my ass. He knew it was my first time so he was really gentle and took his time putting it in. The water from the shower and his patience made it the best sex I have had. - Emerald, CA 21. Start SlowThe first time my husband and I tried anal was about 2 years ago, and I told him it was just too painful for me. This time he used petroleum jelly, and let me tell you that does wonders as lube. It still hurts at first, but after a few thrusts, man, it feels amazing. It’s about starting out slow and working your way up. - Anonymous, Florida 22. Just Do ItI was the girl who told herself she would never attempt anything like anal sex. You would not know that now. I was scared at first to have anal but once I tried it I was hooked. It’s all I want now! It’s the best way to have a Kitchen Quickie and my fiancé has no complaints either. To any woman who is a little scared but deep down would like to try it, do it. - J., Canada 23. Two-ferI just tried anal sex and loved it – it’s not as painful as I thought. First you must be very relaxed. I didn’t use KY because this was not planned, so I told my man to use a lot of spit and ease his head in slow, then I backed my booty up. It felt so good we did it twice in one night. - Ebony, New Jersey 24. Natural JuicesFor me, liking anal sex was a matter of deciding for myself. Personally, I got tired of someone else having all the fun. Really great sex that gets me real wet is the best way to start. After that my own juices are exactly the lube I need to have really great anal sex. – Anonymous, OR 25. Heavenly, Erotic, IntimateI very much enjoy anal sex, and have for years. However, my first experience was like many women; unprepared, no lube and no patience, and it's amazing that I was ever willing to try again. But with a man who was clearly going to be tuned to my sensations and stop if there was any pain, and willing to play with me with foreplay, it has become heavenly. It's an incredibly erotic and intimate experience! Enjoy. – Dee, CT 26. Weird but GoodMy first experience was SO weird, but it actually felt very, very good. I had the best orgasm that I have ever had in my life! Don’t be afraid to try it. Use lots of lube and enjoy it. – Danielle, US 27. It’s all I CraveThe first time I had anal sex I was a little intimidated. The guy was much more experienced and drop dead gorgeous. He was gentle at first. I encouraged him to fuck me harder. The harder he fucked my ass the more I enjoyed it. Now it seems like all I crave is to be eaten out then have my ass fucked. - Sylvia, New England 28. More Than 50% AnalWe usually start in a 69 position. While his tongue works my clit, he lubes my ass and uses a vibrator in my ass to warm me up, then I turn around and get on top of him. The best way for us is for me to lean back, supporting myself with my arms and having my knees up. This way, he can see his penis penetrating my ass, see my pussy and stimulate my clit with a vibrator. Anal sex makes up more than 50% of our sex life. I've always loved it, right from the very first time, and my husband, as with all men, loves it too. - Chantal, Canada 29. Close Connection The first minute usually hurts like hell, but once I pass the minute mark--I'm all in. I just can't stand if he goes too deep ‘cause it HURTS! Otherwise I love it. I think it’s more of a turn-on than vaginal sex. I feel a lot closer to him. – Anonymous, CA 30. Total Control I had my first sexual experience through anal sex, and I had the greatest orgasm of my life. Something about my man being totally in control just got me off. The first time you have anal sex it hurts like heck, but just like sex, the more you do it, the easier it gets. – Rachel, US 31. Don’t Miss Out! At first it hurt tremendously but my partner was very gentle and patient. This was so incredibly good. I liked it so much and still do. Now with my boyfriend, we do anal once in a while and it hurts only on insertion, but he uses lots and lots of lube and he is very gentle. To me this is really great sex and once he's in my ass the feeling is so great. I just move my ass rhythmically to his thrusts until we both cum. My advice to you ladies: please don't be afraid to try anal sex because you are missing out on something great. - Anonymous, US 32. All I Need I have the most intense orgasms you can imagine, even better than vaginal. I don't care if he ever fucks my pussy ever again. –Jane, TN 33. Eternal Thanks My current boyfriend was constantly messing with my asshole, and I loved it. When he first started to penetrate me (using KY liquid), it was painful, but once he got a couple of inches inside, my muscles relaxed and IT WAS GREAT. My advice to first-timers: Bear with the pain - it only lasts about 30 seconds. Relax - it is a great sensation. Guide your partner - let him know if he is going too fast or too slow. Practice - it only gets better. Because so few women are willing to try or are unable to make it through the penetration, your partner will appreciate you forever! Trust me - M., SC 34. Practice Makes PerfectI had anal sex for the first time last week, and we didn’t even use lube. The reason it worked so well was because I had lots of practice time by myself for months. I loved it and I was asking for it days later. He also came in me from behind and I loved the feeling. – Anonymous, CA 35. Highly EroticLast night was actually the first time I had successful anal sex -- and I had it twice. The "key" for me was lots and lots of practice alone beforehand. I recommend fooling around, fucking, fucking with your finger in your ass, then fucking with his finger in your ass before you try to let his cock in there. During the "transition time" when he's lubing up and getting ready, don't stop stimulating yourself, be that playing with your nipples or rubbing your clit or fucking yourself with a vibrator -- or all of the above. Take it slow, breathe deeply, take as many pauses as you need to. If you can't handle the thrusting, try masturbating and cumming while his cock is in your ass. The contractions will feel good for him and you will get more used to the whole idea and more willing to accept it as something highly, highly erotic. Mmm...I can't wait to do it again! - Jane, Kansas36. The Deeper the Better I enjoy it deep, very deep, with his balls banging against me. I cum and cum and cum! Enjoy anal - it’s the best! – Anonymous, UK 37. Nothing Like a Good Reaming I love anal sex. I mean - I Love Anal Sex - there is nothing in the world like a cock reaming your asshole. An old boyfriend of mine would lick my asshole for an hour. God, that made me cum so hard, then he would lube my hole and his cock with K-Y Jelly and slowly insert it into my ass. Once fully in, he would start banging away and grabbing and pulling on my breasts like I like them to be treated. – Christine, OH 38. Slow and Steady My husband and I do anal every month (at least) and we both really enjoy the act. Usually I lay on my side and we have a mirror positioned so we both can watch the proceedings. Once he has popped his knob in we pause (and gaze at the mirror). Once he is fully in he waits for me to cum before he shoots his load deep in my ass. The intimacy of these escapades make us closer and I love the full feeling it brings me. Slow and steady wins the race. – Tania, Canberra 39. Total Trust We have never used any form of lubrication other than natural. We talk about everything and even start foreplay just through talking so we are both very wet when it is time for penetration. I have never trusted a man as I trust him, which allows me to completely relax with him. Anal orgasms are intense beyond belief. – Anonymous, IA 40. New and Wonderful My man was constantly talking about anal sex but I thought of that as an exit only area. After a couple glasses of wine one night, he touched me there and it felt good so I let him go further. Since I naturally over-lubricate, he put the head in slow and it did not feel wrong. I orgasmed the very first time we had anal sex. I definitely recommend this to any couple who like to experiment and are open to new and wonderful things. - Kat, MI 41. Take the Plunge I decided to try it when our sex life was getting a little too predictable. It took several times with just a small amount of penetration before we could finally go fully in the ass. It was incredible. I never would have dreamed it would have been so powerful. I am glad I kept reading about it and finally took the plunge. It is now a part of our sex life. – Brooke, GA 42. Twice the Fun I am a female who LOVES anal sex. I enjoy anal sex so much that now I sit on my husband backwards with his dick in either my ass or pussy and a dildo in whatever hole he's not in. It’s HOT and my husband and I love it....just take it slow, you will love it too! – Marie, AZ 43. Wet at the Thought I absolutely love anal sex. I've met only a few guys who like it and want to try it. I would recommend lube, but I never really used it because I get wet at just of the thought of anal, so I lube myself, but I relax my muscles as well. Just give it a try, you'll enjoy it. - Crystal, LA 44. Get Inspired I can't handle the pleasure. His tool is lubricated from my vaginal juices and he spends time pushing it in; at this moment I am usually crying in ecstasy (forget the drug this is real fun). I get very demanding and tell him to put it in all the way, but no thrusting. I just love it up there. I hope you ladies are inspired. – Kay, NY 45. We Know You Love It Let him know how you like it and most men will be happy to do whatever you want to get some anal. YOU’RE GONNA LOVE IT. Just lose all inhibitions and let go. It’s different, but wasn’t vaginal sex at first? It wasn’t comfortable at all, you had to develop a feel for it. Same goes here. ENJOY! (You men enjoy, too! We know you love it!) - Anonymous, TN 46. I Like a Reach Around I personally enjoy getting rammed up my ass real hard and fast (with lots of lube of course), but this is not for everyone. I like to be spontaneously taken from behind, like maybe when I’m doing the dishes he comes over and yanks my shorts down and does me. Also, a reach around doesn't hurt along with being held really close and tight while he's inside my ass. 47. Enter Here It is indeed a wonderful sensation once you get past the thought of it being an exit only. Use plenty of lubrication and be sure you are in control of the situation. Yes, it is uncomfortable at first and it may take a few times to get to that point, but you will enjoy the sensation you receive from the stimulation. - Anonymous, CT 48. Fill ‘Er Up I love anal sex! Now I want it more that he does. I love having his cock in my ass and a dildo in my pussy. I start with the dildo on low and before we cum I turn it on high. I feel so full. And the orgasm is soooo intense. Try it, you will like it! – Lauren, CT 49. Words Cannot Describe It What a sensation. I have no words for it. I felt my asshole being stretched and his hot cock inside me made me orgasm instantly. I enjoyed it extremely and now we do it often. Let me tell you - a cock in your ass makes you feel close to your man. - Kamla, Mauritius 50. He Made Me Love It I tried anal with my ex and hated it. My new guy makes me love it. I can't get enough. he uses lots of lube and inserts slowly letting me direct him to when I am "ready for more". I have multiple orgasms every time. I highly suggest you try it. - Anonymous, FL NORMAL SEX

Is Your Sex Life Normal?

 FNC

Sexologist Yvonne K. FulbrightFreaky, kinky, bizarre, abnormal, weird, disturbing … Do those terms describe your sex life? If you're like most people, then probably not.I’ve been answering people’s questions about sex and relationships for years, with the most popular question, by far: "Am I normal?"When it comes to sexual expression, people are very curious and concerned about just how well they fit in with the "average" Joe when it comes to their sexual desires, fantasies, practices, etc.So it is with great glee that the popular press likes to crank out sex questionnaires or the latest sex/relationship survey data. It knows that readers jump on publications that can help them sort through whether or not they’re normal or maybe just a little risqué when it comes to what pleasures them sexually.While I would warn anyone to take any results with a grain of salt, we can learn a lot about what people are into, or not, from the info a well-conducted survey gathers about people’s sexual attitudes, behaviors and values.Surveys help to debunk myths, like this one: "Men think about sex every seven seconds." According to the Kinsey report Sexual Behavior in the Human Male, 54 percent of men think about sex every day or several times a day; 43 percent think about it a few times a week or month; and 4 percent think of it less than once a month. With just under 50 percent of men not thinking about sex once a day, one sex thought every 7 seconds is a bit of a stretch, isn’t it?Surveys allow us to better assess stereotypes, for better or for worse. For example, is "No, dear, not tonight," the most overused phrase by American women? It turns out that when a woman enters a secure relationship, her sex drive does take a nosedive.A German study found that four years into a secure relationship, fewer than half of female participants desired regular sex. After 20 years, only 20 percent wanted sex on a regular basis. A male’s libido, on the other hand, stayed steady no matter how long they’d been in a relationship.Other cool things surveys tell us:— How long is the average sexual encounter? According to a Psychology Today article, it’s 3 to 10 minutes.— What is your favorite sexual position? A survey by Marie Claire and Esquire magazines found that men are into rear entry, while women like missionary best.— How many times per week are people having sex? Of the more than 1,700 people 21 to 49 years old who were surveyed by Long Island-based market research company Beta Research Corp., 90 percent of American men and 94 percent of women are having sex up to five times per week. (Note: it’s the "up to" part of that survey that makes for the high percentages. Plus, sexually active people may be likelier to participate in this kind of survey).Surveys sound the alarm on what lovers are really doing, getting answers to questions like: Have you ever cheated? According to The New England Journal of Medicine, 68 percent of men and 59 percent of women have been involved with a person about whom their significant other does not know.Surveys can help you to become a better lover, digging up the dirt on topics like: What do you want more of in bed? Men tend to want more oral sex while women could use more erotic massages. Have you ever answered a work call or e-mail while having sex? Appallingly, 12 percent of men and 7 percent of women said that they have, indeed, answered a call or e-mail while having sex.Surveys reveal others’ best-kept sexual secrets, like:— What is the average amount of time people surf the Internet looking at porn? Of the 17 percent of women who admit to looking at online porn, the average time spent is 1.5 hours per week. The average for men was about an hour longer, with guys more than two times as likely to surf at work.— Have you ever told a lie in order to have sex? A study of 665 Southern California college students in The New England Journal of Medicine found that 34 percent of men and 10 percent of women have told a lie to have sex. It also found that 47 percent of men and 42 percent of women would understate the number of partners they’ve had in order to convince someone to be intimate. Yikes!Finally, surveys make for juicy reading, like Bernice Kramer’s "Are You Normal about Sex, Love, & Relationships," which highlights research around eyebrow-raising thoughts, like:— Is it OK for married people to flirt? Fifty-six percent of respondents said that it’s OK.— Can you recall the names of every person with whom you’ve had sex? Half of the people who responded could not recall the first and last name of every person with whom they’ve had sex.— Can you imagine going through life without having sex? Eleven percent of people can, and without any regrets!— Have you ever been in love? People fall in love an average of six times in their lifetime, with one in four falling in love 10 times. Three out of every four Americans believe in the notion that there is one true love for us out there.With few things "atypical" at the end of the day when it comes to sexuality, a huge part of being a resource on sex is to diffuse people’s worries that there’s nothing wrong with them — that they are perfectly normal for being sexual, as that is a major component of our being human.And there’s nothing wrong with that. So be careful in using any survey in sizing up your sexual self, as sexuality is highly individual.In the Know: The Latest Sex News …— Are lesbians and bisexuals smarter than heterosexual women? Researchers at the University of Warwick, in conjunction with BBC, collected data on more than 198,000 people ages 20 to 65 and found, as expected, that men outperformed women on tests such as mentally rotating objects, or matching up objects with their mirror image, while women outdid men on verbal dexterity tests and remembering where objects are located.Interestingly enough, key differences were found when it came to sexual orientation, with lesbians and bisexual women performing better on tasks such as mental rotation than heterosexual women.— When are women most interested in high-risk sex? A Kinsey Institute study suggests women are more attracted to the thought of sex with masculine, high-risk men (high-risk defined by issues such as number of sexual partners and typical condom-use patterns) during ovulation, when they’re most likely to conceive.During this time, women’s brains showed more activity in the areas related to reward and risk-taking. Brain responses linked to inhibition and risk evaluation also were weaker during ovulation.— The sweet smell of sex? Your brain's "nerve zero," or the cranial nerve, may be the key to sexual attraction. According to R. Douglas Fields, an adjunct professor of neuroscience at the University of Maryland, the nerve zero may transmit sex pheromones, which generally are detected via smell to the brain.What does this mean to you? Your sense of smell may affect your sexual behavior and choice of sexual partner. Academics are, however, waiting for good evidence confirming such.Note: In my December article titled, "Sex Your Way to Better Health," I mentioned that one study found that sex may help with the prevention of endometriosis. A number of women with endometriosis expressed outrage that this research was being drawn upon because they found it flawed. The research was conducted by Kliman, Meaddough et al. (2002) and originally published in Gynecologic & Obstetric Investigation.I have been in contact with my professional resources trying to find out why this information is being circulated if it is so questionable. In the meantime, I encourage you to judge the situation for yourself, especially since this issue certainly highlights the need for more research, funding and support around women’s reproductive health problems in general. For more information regarding this study, click here.Dr. Yvonne Kristín Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."          LESBIANISM  Lesbian is a term most widely used in the English language to describe sexual and romantic desire between females.[1] The word may be used as a noun, to refer to women who identify themselves or who are characterized by others as having the primary attribute of female homosexuality, or as an adjective, to describe characteristics of an object or activity related to female same-sex desire.[2]Lesbian as a concept, used to differentiate women with a shared sexual orientation, is a 20th-century construct. Although female homosexuality has appeared in many cultures throughout time, not until recently has lesbian described a group of people. In the late 19th century, sexologists published their observations on same-sex desire and behavior, and designated lesbians in Western culture as a distinct entity. As a result, women who became aware of their new medical status formed underground subcultures in Europe and North America. Further broadening of the term occurred in the 1970s with the influence of second wave feminism. Historians since have re-examined relationships between women in history, and have questioned what qualifies a woman or a relationship as lesbian. The result of such discussion has introduced three components to identifying lesbians: sexual behavior, sexual desire, or sexual identity.Men have historically shaped ideas about what is respectable for women in love, sex, and family, and due to the absence of males in a lesbian relationship, frequently rejected the possibility of lesbianism or disregarded it as a valid expression of sexuality. Early sexologists based their characterization of lesbians on their beliefs that women who challenged their strictly prescribed gender roles were mentally ill. Since then, many lesbians have often reacted to their designation as immoral outcasts by constructing a subculture based on gender role rebellion. Lesbianism has sometimes been in vogue throughout history, which affects how lesbians are viewed by others as well as how they view themselves. Some women who engage in homosexual behavior may reject the lesbian identity entirely, refusing to identify themselves as lesbian or bisexual.The different ways lesbians have been portrayed in the media suggests that Western society at large has been simultaneously intrigued and threatened by women who challenge feminine gender roles, and fascinated and appalled with women who are romantically involved with other women. Women who adopt the lesbian identity, however, share experiences that form an outlook similar to ethnic identity: as homosexuals, they are unified by the discrimination and potential rejection they face from their families, friends, and others. As women, they face concerns separate from men. Lesbians may encounter distinct health concerns. Political conditions and social attitudes also continue to affect the formation of lesbian relationships and families.